Change Please

Imagery by Eddy Lieva


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I Don't Want More, I Want Different.

I'm in a weird headspace, I think the fact I'm in my mid-twenties now is really starting to hit me, I don't feel old, not at all, if anything I feel.. inexperienced, for lack of a better word. I say inexperienced because there is just so much out there, so many places to see, so much life to live, and I've become a slave to the system, you know, work, school, debt, all that bullshit that comes with being an adult. The thing is I feel so damn ordinary, and it depresses me. I crave something more. I live under a constant fear of time passing by and me staying stagnant. This town ain't helping a whole lot either, opportunities are so limited here, and yet everyone else just seems to be so.. content, I don't get it...

I live under a constant fear of time passing by and me staying stagnant.

Don't get me wrong, my life isn't a struggle, on the contrary I am very fortunate and blessed and I see that, but I really dislike how monotoned it has become. I don't know, I woke up wanting to vent today, I've had a very stressful past week and I kind of just wanted to express some of my suppressed emotions, this is like my "safe place", the diary I never wrote as a kid if-you-will. In a way I'm glad I feel this way, it just means I want to strive for more, I want to grow, and that's a good thing. I know I'm gonna pull through somehow, I always do, I just tend to get impatient during the process. 

whatever I'm looking for is also looking for me.. the universe sees how bad I want it... 

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Till next  time - A.

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